Faith Tested,,,

My life has been a roller coaster of emotions over the past few months...One day I'm Happy-The next day I'm miserable, One day I'm optimistic and the next I feel life has come to a dead end......Today is one of the BAD days.....A day when I feel life has hit rock bottom..And could not possibly get any worse....A day I find hard to keep my faith, and a day I question God even though I know better. I of all people should know from experience that God always does things to make my life better...And yet I find it difficult to praise him for the things he does...Forgive me Father...I'm only human...And I cannot see the big picture just yet. Give me Faith to believe...To trust blindly and to accept ur will in my life....Help me to Stand still, And know that You are God.

Prayers and Answers......

Fairy tales coming true?? i was a believer..But to this degree?? Wow!!! I prayed to God with tears for a couple of things...God always answers my prayers..From clearing exams ..To solving my problems...To giving me the perfect life....I have always been blessed...But this prayer was a time bound one....And i still cant believe God worked a miracle.....And way, way before the deadline is due to expire.....Right now I'm not sure if i should ask forgiveness to god for my "little faith" or Be down on my knees in gratitude.....But one thing is sure..I have a prayer hearing..and more important..A prayer answering God.

This may all sound very cryptic - More updates to come later.

Sun Comes Out....

My life was down in the dumps for abt a month...I persisted in looking for the Silver lining...And got teased for it ..A lot...And u kno what ...There was No silver lining.. Instead God gave me the Sun...... :)

Fantasy and Reality...

I went to a fairy tale wedding today.....Every dream I might have had about the perfect wedding was what I saw acted out in reality today...The bride wore a gorgeous gown....There was a romantic dance......The groom was the perfect gentleman....And I was in heaven for about 3 hours...And it also kinda broke my heart a little....U see anyone who knows me knows I do not completely live in reality..My "life is always sunny" outlook is not realistic (At least according to a couple of friends of mine).I live in a land where Prince Charming's exist...Where Fairy godmothers help hapless girls...And where the heart is what matters not the face....Now maybe that is not practical.....But seeing a couple of people have their fairy tales come true has only made my belief deeper..And I have resolved...To wait for mine...I might grow to be an old maid of 70 surrounded by cats....But i think I'm right..And at least I still have my dreams...And my Dreams are Sweet :)

Ghost From the Past...

I ran into a Ghost from my past today...It was totally unexpected...And brought with it a flood of memories long since buried in the sands of time and Forgotten. Of Crushes and Boys and Love triangles (And of being Blissfully unaware that i was part of quite a few)...Of having butterflies in the stomach when a boy spoke to you...Of crazy slam book entries..And even crazier gals writing hate mails.....Of mad Teachers and Classmates....
But it also brings to mind a World of Close friends made and Kept...Of lessons learned and Prizes Won...Of pranks played in class and teachers I loved...Of opportunities gained and Lost....I studied for 2 years in this school..2 years which has left me with a life time of memories...I always said I would never go Back to see the school. It does not hold a place in my heart. But Those memories do...Good and Bad they have become a part of me...7 years have passed since those carefree days......But today's meeting Brought Those memories to life like it was all yesterday.....And maybe..Just maybe...Going back would not be so bad....

And I thought Slavery was abolished!!

Slavery is a form of forced labor in which people are considered to be, or treated as, the property of others. Today’s Corporate sector Does exactly this .They think the fact that they pay you in 5 Digits means they own u heart and Soul. I’m being paid to work 5 days. But the reality is I'm working 7 .I have not had a weekend off since July and I'm Exhausted.

My daily routine has gone from "Office -> Gym -> Chat with mom -> TV-> Hit the sack" to "Office -> Hit the sack". My BFF (best friends forever) thinks this means I should not be happy. Am I happy about the current situation? NO. But am I gonna sit around feeling miserable about it.NO...Life is gonna keep throwing Horrible work conditions, Hellish timings and grouchy bosses at me...I decide to be happy despite all this...I can still find reasons to enjoy my job. I have nice friends...Activities I'm in charge of which I enjoy organizing...And a Sum that gets credited into my bank at the end of each month that funds all my shopping sprees :) So am I Sad, Miserable and Depressed about this situation?? NO. I don't have time. I’m too busy searching for the Silver lining... :)

Growing Roots..

My office account is moving to Porur...And I have received this news with Mixed feelings....After traveling for 2.5 hours to college for 4 full years I have for the past couple of years enjoyed the prospect of having my home at a 20 minute commute from office...So today when my manager informed us about the move I was not even sure how I felt....

I am the type to grow roots...Once I get used to a place I find it terribly hard to leave...Which is why the whole craze for everything American just totally passed me by..Coz I have my roots firmly planted in India...And even with regards to my account or project I could never bring myself to leave....My reasons ?? I have friends, I'm used to this place, it took to 2 yrs to get here and if I switch I'd have to start from scratch.etc...My real reason? I've grown roots here too...

The move is supposed to happen sometime in October. Will I be one the people moving remains to be seen.....But Changes seem to be coming at me thick and Fast....And I am starting to learn to adapt. To move on. To not cry whenever a friends Quits the company. To learn that life goes on. And that friends are friends forever...irrespective of place of work or distance (My BFF and I have not seen each other in years.....Has not affected our friendship one bit)....And looks like the only permanent thing in life is "Change"....So I will adapt, And learn to accept these changes with an open mind and butterflies in my stomach....

Taking Charge ..

Most web-logs are created because the Writers have something to tell the world....I started one coz i has something to tell myself...I needed something to keep track of my life's lessons...Something to remind me of what makes me 'ME'.In most cases a Journal would suffice..But I've never been good with journals....I start writing one whenever my life is very interesting and then gradually fadeout.....And I'm sitting in an office with a 24/7 internet connection and some spare time..So what better way to keep track of my life??

My life used to be so simple...And now its not.....Which makes me realize..That the reason its so complicated is me...i got so used to the drama in everyday life that i start imagining myself as the heroine in some epic tragedy ......And I'm not in a tragic play..I've never been a victim..This is MY life..My happiness is in MY hands.....And firmly within MY reach..And nothing anyone else says or does can change that!!