Aunty- To be or not to be....

So I'm on a Long vacation in canada.... and the first thing that annoyed me was the fact that a gal a few years younger than me called my "Aunty"... If anyone has seen the godreg hair dye ad they will know exactly how i reacted..It led to a few billion trips to the mirror to check for greys and wrinkles....and A few million questions to the hubby about whether i had aged in the last few weeks.coz the he last time i had a reaction that was age related was when a boy(calling him boy coz he is just out of college) i worked with asked me if i was a fresher..(He made my day)

So imagine my shock to be called aunty.....She kept it up....I got annoyed enuf to tell her to call me by my name -coz i was not her aunty(And now she calls me akka-which is much better).Then another "Aunty"(another poor gal in her 20's) explained to me that all the single folk refer to all the married people as aunty and Uncle....

But i did not have much to do with any of them so i was fine till last week when another guy in his 20's took it into his head to call me aunty....I expalined to him - very politely- that i did not like it...that i was just a few years older than him...And he told me that i was married and that was all it took to give me the title..And then he said "Welcome to Canada"

I dont kno if he just wanted to annoy me as much as possible-(he was a pretty sweet chap normally)but then he kept referring to me as aunty every chance he got....

I dont kno wat to do !!!!!

Proud to Be Dark!!

Blogging after a Loooooooooooong time..The reason?? A video by a girl in Canada that can be seen here

My Problems with Skin color started so long ago I cant even remember their origins...My First actual memory regarding skin color is my grandmother and mother telling me that if I ate well as a kid I'd grow fairer...Followed by a live-in servant who told me that eating rasam rice would make me dark(Apparently I ate only rasam rice as a kid and this was to get me to stop and eat something else) Her Lie worked and I developed an aversion for it...It was not until years later that I figured out that rasam does not make one dark....Rasam is still not something I eat much of -subconsciously the aversion persists!!


Now I'm going to write about my journey in a fair skinned world....Considering this is a subject I feel passionately about, expect a loooooooong post!!

I remember being told that I was a fair skinned baby and that nurses in the hospital named me 'Rosie' becoz of it.......Over the years I realized that Dark Skin was not a Blessing in my community....I had a pretty normal childhood with the usual taunts about skin color as a part of it....Then I turned 11 and moved into high school...


There was a request for Girls from my class to volunteer as Angels for a Play the seniors were putting up....I remember my teacher saying " you girls know which of you girls look like angels ..Those with long hair and Fair skin can volunteer"

Now I have a Question? Had the teacher ever seen an angel? How did she know that angels were Long haired and fair skinned? For all she knew Gabriel is up there going "Damn!!I wish I had her lovely brown skin color!!"

As I was Growing up I realized I was the only dark kid in my family. Now my Cousins are all Beautiful women in their own right....And they are all also Extremely fair!!

I remember an aunt once asking a Cousin of mine who was 18-19 at the time what kinda guy she wanted to marry....The cousin replied that she did not care if he was dark or bald .....And my Aunts shocked response was "But your whole generation will become Dark!!" Now in my 20's I can laugh at this incident but as a teenager trying to piece together my identity This had a pretty big impact on my self confidence....

A creep calling me "Blacky" in high school did not help.....The fact that he is also dark skinned or that I had no idea he even existed was another story entirely....

Move on to college where Girls from my class were Handpicked to basically transport Prizes from one Side of the stage to the chief Guests Hands During College Functions and to stand at the entrance as the reception Committee....My college staff decreed that these girls had to be "Fair" Their reasoning was "only fair girls look good in the Photos"

Add to this a Whole truck load of fairness cream advertisements on TV stating that you needed fair skin to Get a job/Impress a guy/Achieve your dreams/Stand up for yourself etc (According to this a Brialliant girl cannot achieve any of the above with just Brains and Will...Being FAIR Skinned was the essential ingredient!!)

There was an advertisement for Chakolas FAirness oil which has a father appealing to the TV audience to suggest Alliances for his dark skinned daughter as she was not getting married.....Then she begins to use the oil..And the father Informs the Audience that Lo and Behold his DAughter is fair and Her marriage is fixed... ) and imagine what Havoc this Plays on an already Fragile confidence level!!

It got so bad that at one point of time I had every single Fairness cream that was appearing on TV on my dressing table hoping to Achieve that Elusive and Lovely Fair skin.....I was Using bleaches..Home remedies....Even the Silly Chakolas Fairness oil..

Then in the First year of college I was googling for more ways to make my skin "Fairer" when I came across an article written by a fellow dark skinned gal....

I have forgotten her words and I cant find the article now, But this girl changed my Life!!

She was a confident , mature and smart girl who refused to let the worlds standards for beauty make or break her.....She wrote about being happy in her skin and Proud of being dark....That was the day my belief system changed..I decided that if that girl could love her skin then so could I. I walked into my room and threw every single fairness cream into the trash...And have never looked back since.....

Skin Color does not matter once you decide to not let it matter....Eventually its how you look at yourself that will decide who you become!! If you love yourself the world's prejudices cant hurt you or destroy you(they will try).....Do Not give others that Power....


The Journey has not been an easy one.....Especially when I went on the Marriage Mart...I was not ( and still am not) the Typical Wifely Material... I am not fair , I am not easily dominated and I will Stand up for what I believe in..."Pathi" is not Parameshwar for me..."Pathi" is a Partner .....With equal Rights....So I told my GOD my requirements and sat back....And landed a Tall ,DARK and Handsome Husband...Who does not care that I'm not fair..And who loves me for me ... Revolutionary ideas and all!!

Today I have a happy life.....I Got a job/Got married/Followed my dreams with the Grace of God and with my Dark skin...My Dark Skin was not a curse....It was just a Part of who I was.....



I am a Brown skinned Girl and I am Proud of it!!!!



P.S: Its bad enough when fairness creams for girls are on the market.. Fairness creams for men??? That is Just Pathetic...People Please stop Falling into the "Fair is Beautiful/Handsome" trap!!