Proud to Be Dark!!

Blogging after a Loooooooooooong time..The reason?? A video by a girl in Canada that can be seen here

My Problems with Skin color started so long ago I cant even remember their origins...My First actual memory regarding skin color is my grandmother and mother telling me that if I ate well as a kid I'd grow fairer...Followed by a live-in servant who told me that eating rasam rice would make me dark(Apparently I ate only rasam rice as a kid and this was to get me to stop and eat something else) Her Lie worked and I developed an aversion for it...It was not until years later that I figured out that rasam does not make one dark....Rasam is still not something I eat much of -subconsciously the aversion persists!!


Now I'm going to write about my journey in a fair skinned world....Considering this is a subject I feel passionately about, expect a loooooooong post!!

I remember being told that I was a fair skinned baby and that nurses in the hospital named me 'Rosie' becoz of it.......Over the years I realized that Dark Skin was not a Blessing in my community....I had a pretty normal childhood with the usual taunts about skin color as a part of it....Then I turned 11 and moved into high school...


There was a request for Girls from my class to volunteer as Angels for a Play the seniors were putting up....I remember my teacher saying " you girls know which of you girls look like angels ..Those with long hair and Fair skin can volunteer"

Now I have a Question? Had the teacher ever seen an angel? How did she know that angels were Long haired and fair skinned? For all she knew Gabriel is up there going "Damn!!I wish I had her lovely brown skin color!!"

As I was Growing up I realized I was the only dark kid in my family. Now my Cousins are all Beautiful women in their own right....And they are all also Extremely fair!!

I remember an aunt once asking a Cousin of mine who was 18-19 at the time what kinda guy she wanted to marry....The cousin replied that she did not care if he was dark or bald .....And my Aunts shocked response was "But your whole generation will become Dark!!" Now in my 20's I can laugh at this incident but as a teenager trying to piece together my identity This had a pretty big impact on my self confidence....

A creep calling me "Blacky" in high school did not help.....The fact that he is also dark skinned or that I had no idea he even existed was another story entirely....

Move on to college where Girls from my class were Handpicked to basically transport Prizes from one Side of the stage to the chief Guests Hands During College Functions and to stand at the entrance as the reception Committee....My college staff decreed that these girls had to be "Fair" Their reasoning was "only fair girls look good in the Photos"

Add to this a Whole truck load of fairness cream advertisements on TV stating that you needed fair skin to Get a job/Impress a guy/Achieve your dreams/Stand up for yourself etc (According to this a Brialliant girl cannot achieve any of the above with just Brains and Will...Being FAIR Skinned was the essential ingredient!!)

There was an advertisement for Chakolas FAirness oil which has a father appealing to the TV audience to suggest Alliances for his dark skinned daughter as she was not getting married.....Then she begins to use the oil..And the father Informs the Audience that Lo and Behold his DAughter is fair and Her marriage is fixed... ) and imagine what Havoc this Plays on an already Fragile confidence level!!

It got so bad that at one point of time I had every single Fairness cream that was appearing on TV on my dressing table hoping to Achieve that Elusive and Lovely Fair skin.....I was Using bleaches..Home remedies....Even the Silly Chakolas Fairness oil..

Then in the First year of college I was googling for more ways to make my skin "Fairer" when I came across an article written by a fellow dark skinned gal....

I have forgotten her words and I cant find the article now, But this girl changed my Life!!

She was a confident , mature and smart girl who refused to let the worlds standards for beauty make or break her.....She wrote about being happy in her skin and Proud of being dark....That was the day my belief system changed..I decided that if that girl could love her skin then so could I. I walked into my room and threw every single fairness cream into the trash...And have never looked back since.....

Skin Color does not matter once you decide to not let it matter....Eventually its how you look at yourself that will decide who you become!! If you love yourself the world's prejudices cant hurt you or destroy you(they will try).....Do Not give others that Power....


The Journey has not been an easy one.....Especially when I went on the Marriage Mart...I was not ( and still am not) the Typical Wifely Material... I am not fair , I am not easily dominated and I will Stand up for what I believe in..."Pathi" is not Parameshwar for me..."Pathi" is a Partner .....With equal Rights....So I told my GOD my requirements and sat back....And landed a Tall ,DARK and Handsome Husband...Who does not care that I'm not fair..And who loves me for me ... Revolutionary ideas and all!!

Today I have a happy life.....I Got a job/Got married/Followed my dreams with the Grace of God and with my Dark skin...My Dark Skin was not a curse....It was just a Part of who I was.....



I am a Brown skinned Girl and I am Proud of it!!!!



P.S: Its bad enough when fairness creams for girls are on the market.. Fairness creams for men??? That is Just Pathetic...People Please stop Falling into the "Fair is Beautiful/Handsome" trap!!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder..True or False!!

I'v been separated from a loved one due to work reasons......And as sickening as having people quote proverbs to u can be..Its at its worst when people tell me about familiarity and fondness and all the rest....

Seriously??

We miss the people we love..And we only realize we love them and miss then so much when a little distance falls b/w us.....

But trust me.....Love grows with togetherness not distance..And separation is not my cup of tea.....

Which makes me wonder how the families with one family member abroad or in the armed forces survive.....I people walk into relationships with people in these professions with eyes wide open right??
So how do they make it work???

Is the distance just a part of the deal?? and they learn to work with it??
Or is it a sacrifice they make for the love they want??

Or does it just not matter??

I know people in long distance relationships who seem to be doin fine too...How does that work??

Is it that with so much distance you don't really have time to realize the Negative side of ur love?? that life just seems one perpetual dream??

Well i may not have all the answers..But i sure have a lot of questions!!!

Faith to Move Mountains

Been Planning to Post for a long time...Had a gazillion ideas....But just somehow never got around to doing it.

So I'll start off with one story that is close to my heart......

A close Friend of mine lost a dear one On Holy Saturday. Now that was tragic enough. But the fact was she is getting married next week and the funeral took Place in the same church which is going to host her wedding which made it worse....

Now A scenario like this would have probably sent Me Off the deep end ......I can just imagine what kind of hysteria and drama I would have subjected the world to.....So I was prepared for that kind of situation when I went to see her.
What Surprised/Shocked me was, not only did she receive me with a smile. It ended up with her comforting me.

Her faith in the plans of a God who is always faithful...And her trust that No matter what God will be there made me hang my head in shame. Quite honestly that kind of faith is what a Christian should have, No matter what Trust him entirely.

And I actually saw someone living the kind of faith that I always thought was easy to preach but impossible to practice..... She is an inspiration...On Courage...On Faith...And on facing all odds and still coming out a victor….All because her faith is not on man but an Almighty God!!

Wishing her a Blessed Married Life….And all Gods Choicest Blessings in her future….

Misfortune never comes single....

Been having a lot of Problems lately... Its like one tidal wave barely subsides before the others hit.... Thats pretty worrying... With every Hit i begin to realize how you can never plan for life...It will hit in the most unexpected spots and at the most unexpected times..Its like God decided to let me know "Think you have your life all figured out?? Think Again!!"

And the funny thing is None of these problems can be solved By me or any of my family members.Its totally out of our control ..Makes one realize exactly how fickle man and life really are...With no control over our lives or the lives of our loved ones we can only be spectators of what ever is happening...

And while the very thought of losing control is really scary...As the old adage goes...Lfe will go on!!

Ravages of Time....

I got a Facebook invite from a guy a few days back.I did not recognize the profile pic.So i did not respond to it.But then i noticed that there were quite a few mutual friends and all from my school(which logically led me to assume this guy was from my school too..) So i went to his profile just to see if i could place him.He had quite a few pics in his albums and it was when i was on the 10th pic or so that i realized the men i had been seeing in the last 9 pics had all been classmates of mine. And i was shocked..Why???

Some of these guys had been the heart throbs of school. With a hoard of fans...(Personally i had always been into the intellectual type guys,So these chaps were not ones i noticed) .And they looked so different,Not in the good sense. With beer bellies and flabby arms...One of them was actually starting to go bald. They seem to be doing well and havin a good time. But they certainly did not look like they were on the right side of 25.

I have not seen many of my classmates in 10yrs or more and Now seeing photos on Facebook leaves me with a sense of disbelief.These girls with babies in their hands and weighing some 20 kilos more than they used to are the girls i once played hop-scotch with.... Time spares no-one..So i suppose the only thing to hope for is that in 10 yrs time (no matter how i look) I still feel young :)

New Friends ,Old Friends and Ex -Friends.......

I’ve been on a 'making new friends' spree lately...Made a lot of new friends ...in varying age groups and from varying backgrounds....Ever since I moved to my new house with my husband, my biggest grouse has been that I have a trillion shops in this area and no one to go shopping with me.... Men are horrible at shopping...They either spend hours or seconds shopping...and its never for the things you like...So I was missing all my girl friends (who are now either busy with jobs or children :P) and missing my hour long shopping trips when I found some friends in unlikely places who share my love....And we'v already covered quite a few of de shops on my list (if we do this on weekdays, imagine my weekends!!) So I'm now one happy shopper:D

But I feel there is this balance god thinks u need to have ...Coz the more new friends I make the more I lose touch with old ones.... Social networking helps keep in touch( so they say ) While I’m really grateful to FB and orkut( I found a lot of old mates on them) they keep you connected without actually keeping the connection alive( am I making sense??) For example...I know which friends of mine are in which city, who are married/engaged and whoz got wat job/kid.... But I have absolutely no idea how they are...if they are happy or sad...and I have not spoken to any of them in a long time..... Which kinda makes the whole thing feel like I’m watching a movie where I have no part :(

And while old friends become more and more distant.....Life makes some old friends turn to Ex-friends..There are some friends whom I remember thinking standing beside me wen I’m old and grey..... I still remember the second I met them, The kind of friendship had with em and the warm fuzzy feeling my heart still gets wen I think of them...But somewhere along the way people change....U never factor that in when u think of being "Friends Forever" They just stop being friends for no apparent reason and while it still hurts to think of them .... Somewhere along the way I have learnt to let go as well..I still keep hoping those friends will call...Whatever the reason was for their silence -that the problem will be solved etc...But these hopes may be just hopes..... They have become "Ex-Friends"…. But friends Past, Present and Future...Here's wishing you all a great life ahead!!!

Of Competitions and Rivalries....

My account has been having Sym-olympics for the past 2 weeks...thats an event my company has every year to give the poor employees some fun and frolic....According to them this helps us use our creative brains, Helps with stress etc etc...I'm not sure how well it works in those areas.. but it helps make new friends...and fight with old ones..... Call it a competitive streak i did not know i had.... or an intolerance for injustice But when one team started cheating and usurped us from our rightful spot at number 1 i lost it....So friends in that team are now no longer talkin to me .....

As for new friends Members in my team whom i never even knew existed two weeks back are now good friends :)...So after losing our Place at number 1 in an event yesterday yesterday(coz the participating teams members were the ones conducting it) we are back at number one today after a smashing won in ODC decorations :) where all my artistry skills(that i did not know i had) came in very handy ......

So winners of the championship cup that we are i'm gonna have a lovely weekend in the secure knowledge that in the end Truth Triumphs !! and I'm a winner :)