Motherhood Moments

If I’m going to lose my self for a decade, motherhood sure is a delicious thing to lose it to." Read that line in a blogpost/article...... And i totally agree..While having tiny fingers poking into my eyes at 6am on Saturday mornings is not fun and being emotionally blackmailed by a tiny 4 yr old saying "I love you and i want to hug you" everytime i open my mouth to say "Time out" is not what i expected of Motherhood.....The years are going by way too fast... My tiny baby is already a little boy...and so i'm deciding to enjoy the tiny fingers and toes (With all the poking and kicking)...

Time Flies....

Recently one of my college mates put up a post on FB to remind us all that it has been a decade since that fateful day we joined cllege.. I can still remember that day with total clarity...4 of us on a bench together....An inaugral speech by our chairman which showed us that his speeches would be the most entertaining feature of our college lives.... A kinda good looking guy sitting next to me and both of us ignoring each other as our parents chatted (coz boys and girls could not talk - Even with chaperonage) My Mom telling me that the friends i made that day would not be the same friends i had by the time a month went past (she was right) A bearded Professor glaring at us when we laughed at our chairman's english ... The excellent food that would be the one saving grace of the 4 year jail term.... 10 years have now gone by and i look back and see so many things ...so many lessons learnt...So many mistakes made..... So many times my "wat u see is wat u get" attitude got me into trouble... So many movie scenes played out in real life... So many regrets..... But those lessons and mistakes have been the stepping stones for so many decisions.... Those punishments and blackmails by professors, funny anecdotes I share with friends... Of those friends made in those 4 years... I am still in touch with so many... Facebook and WhatsApp and Skype have helped... But sometimes I wonder... Would life have been easier for those 4 years of I had owned a crystal ball? Would I have been cheated less?? Gotten hurt less?? Made bettter use of opportunities?? .. I guess I will never know....

Aunty- To be or not to be....

So I'm on a Long vacation in canada.... and the first thing that annoyed me was the fact that a gal a few years younger than me called my "Aunty"... If anyone has seen the godreg hair dye ad they will know exactly how i reacted..It led to a few billion trips to the mirror to check for greys and wrinkles....and A few million questions to the hubby about whether i had aged in the last few weeks.coz the he last time i had a reaction that was age related was when a boy(calling him boy coz he is just out of college) i worked with asked me if i was a fresher..(He made my day)

So imagine my shock to be called aunty.....She kept it up....I got annoyed enuf to tell her to call me by my name -coz i was not her aunty(And now she calls me akka-which is much better).Then another "Aunty"(another poor gal in her 20's) explained to me that all the single folk refer to all the married people as aunty and Uncle....

But i did not have much to do with any of them so i was fine till last week when another guy in his 20's took it into his head to call me aunty....I expalined to him - very politely- that i did not like it...that i was just a few years older than him...And he told me that i was married and that was all it took to give me the title..And then he said "Welcome to Canada"

I dont kno if he just wanted to annoy me as much as possible-(he was a pretty sweet chap normally)but then he kept referring to me as aunty every chance he got....

I dont kno wat to do !!!!!

Proud to Be Dark!!

Blogging after a Loooooooooooong time..The reason?? A video by a girl in Canada that can be seen here

My Problems with Skin color started so long ago I cant even remember their origins...My First actual memory regarding skin color is my grandmother and mother telling me that if I ate well as a kid I'd grow fairer...Followed by a live-in servant who told me that eating rasam rice would make me dark(Apparently I ate only rasam rice as a kid and this was to get me to stop and eat something else) Her Lie worked and I developed an aversion for it...It was not until years later that I figured out that rasam does not make one dark....Rasam is still not something I eat much of -subconsciously the aversion persists!!


Now I'm going to write about my journey in a fair skinned world....Considering this is a subject I feel passionately about, expect a loooooooong post!!

I remember being told that I was a fair skinned baby and that nurses in the hospital named me 'Rosie' becoz of it.......Over the years I realized that Dark Skin was not a Blessing in my community....I had a pretty normal childhood with the usual taunts about skin color as a part of it....Then I turned 11 and moved into high school...


There was a request for Girls from my class to volunteer as Angels for a Play the seniors were putting up....I remember my teacher saying " you girls know which of you girls look like angels ..Those with long hair and Fair skin can volunteer"

Now I have a Question? Had the teacher ever seen an angel? How did she know that angels were Long haired and fair skinned? For all she knew Gabriel is up there going "Damn!!I wish I had her lovely brown skin color!!"

As I was Growing up I realized I was the only dark kid in my family. Now my Cousins are all Beautiful women in their own right....And they are all also Extremely fair!!

I remember an aunt once asking a Cousin of mine who was 18-19 at the time what kinda guy she wanted to marry....The cousin replied that she did not care if he was dark or bald .....And my Aunts shocked response was "But your whole generation will become Dark!!" Now in my 20's I can laugh at this incident but as a teenager trying to piece together my identity This had a pretty big impact on my self confidence....

A creep calling me "Blacky" in high school did not help.....The fact that he is also dark skinned or that I had no idea he even existed was another story entirely....

Move on to college where Girls from my class were Handpicked to basically transport Prizes from one Side of the stage to the chief Guests Hands During College Functions and to stand at the entrance as the reception Committee....My college staff decreed that these girls had to be "Fair" Their reasoning was "only fair girls look good in the Photos"

Add to this a Whole truck load of fairness cream advertisements on TV stating that you needed fair skin to Get a job/Impress a guy/Achieve your dreams/Stand up for yourself etc (According to this a Brialliant girl cannot achieve any of the above with just Brains and Will...Being FAIR Skinned was the essential ingredient!!)

There was an advertisement for Chakolas FAirness oil which has a father appealing to the TV audience to suggest Alliances for his dark skinned daughter as she was not getting married.....Then she begins to use the oil..And the father Informs the Audience that Lo and Behold his DAughter is fair and Her marriage is fixed... ) and imagine what Havoc this Plays on an already Fragile confidence level!!

It got so bad that at one point of time I had every single Fairness cream that was appearing on TV on my dressing table hoping to Achieve that Elusive and Lovely Fair skin.....I was Using bleaches..Home remedies....Even the Silly Chakolas Fairness oil..

Then in the First year of college I was googling for more ways to make my skin "Fairer" when I came across an article written by a fellow dark skinned gal....

I have forgotten her words and I cant find the article now, But this girl changed my Life!!

She was a confident , mature and smart girl who refused to let the worlds standards for beauty make or break her.....She wrote about being happy in her skin and Proud of being dark....That was the day my belief system changed..I decided that if that girl could love her skin then so could I. I walked into my room and threw every single fairness cream into the trash...And have never looked back since.....

Skin Color does not matter once you decide to not let it matter....Eventually its how you look at yourself that will decide who you become!! If you love yourself the world's prejudices cant hurt you or destroy you(they will try).....Do Not give others that Power....


The Journey has not been an easy one.....Especially when I went on the Marriage Mart...I was not ( and still am not) the Typical Wifely Material... I am not fair , I am not easily dominated and I will Stand up for what I believe in..."Pathi" is not Parameshwar for me..."Pathi" is a Partner .....With equal Rights....So I told my GOD my requirements and sat back....And landed a Tall ,DARK and Handsome Husband...Who does not care that I'm not fair..And who loves me for me ... Revolutionary ideas and all!!

Today I have a happy life.....I Got a job/Got married/Followed my dreams with the Grace of God and with my Dark skin...My Dark Skin was not a curse....It was just a Part of who I was.....



I am a Brown skinned Girl and I am Proud of it!!!!



P.S: Its bad enough when fairness creams for girls are on the market.. Fairness creams for men??? That is Just Pathetic...People Please stop Falling into the "Fair is Beautiful/Handsome" trap!!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder..True or False!!

I'v been separated from a loved one due to work reasons......And as sickening as having people quote proverbs to u can be..Its at its worst when people tell me about familiarity and fondness and all the rest....

Seriously??

We miss the people we love..And we only realize we love them and miss then so much when a little distance falls b/w us.....

But trust me.....Love grows with togetherness not distance..And separation is not my cup of tea.....

Which makes me wonder how the families with one family member abroad or in the armed forces survive.....I people walk into relationships with people in these professions with eyes wide open right??
So how do they make it work???

Is the distance just a part of the deal?? and they learn to work with it??
Or is it a sacrifice they make for the love they want??

Or does it just not matter??

I know people in long distance relationships who seem to be doin fine too...How does that work??

Is it that with so much distance you don't really have time to realize the Negative side of ur love?? that life just seems one perpetual dream??

Well i may not have all the answers..But i sure have a lot of questions!!!

Faith to Move Mountains

Been Planning to Post for a long time...Had a gazillion ideas....But just somehow never got around to doing it.

So I'll start off with one story that is close to my heart......

A close Friend of mine lost a dear one On Holy Saturday. Now that was tragic enough. But the fact was she is getting married next week and the funeral took Place in the same church which is going to host her wedding which made it worse....

Now A scenario like this would have probably sent Me Off the deep end ......I can just imagine what kind of hysteria and drama I would have subjected the world to.....So I was prepared for that kind of situation when I went to see her.
What Surprised/Shocked me was, not only did she receive me with a smile. It ended up with her comforting me.

Her faith in the plans of a God who is always faithful...And her trust that No matter what God will be there made me hang my head in shame. Quite honestly that kind of faith is what a Christian should have, No matter what Trust him entirely.

And I actually saw someone living the kind of faith that I always thought was easy to preach but impossible to practice..... She is an inspiration...On Courage...On Faith...And on facing all odds and still coming out a victor….All because her faith is not on man but an Almighty God!!

Wishing her a Blessed Married Life….And all Gods Choicest Blessings in her future….

Misfortune never comes single....

Been having a lot of Problems lately... Its like one tidal wave barely subsides before the others hit.... Thats pretty worrying... With every Hit i begin to realize how you can never plan for life...It will hit in the most unexpected spots and at the most unexpected times..Its like God decided to let me know "Think you have your life all figured out?? Think Again!!"

And the funny thing is None of these problems can be solved By me or any of my family members.Its totally out of our control ..Makes one realize exactly how fickle man and life really are...With no control over our lives or the lives of our loved ones we can only be spectators of what ever is happening...

And while the very thought of losing control is really scary...As the old adage goes...Lfe will go on!!